Hubris

I watched "Into the Wild" yesterday. The rest of the post will be a giant spoiler if you haven't seen the movie, read the book, or are generally unfamiliar with the story upon which those two are based.

It's 5 a.m. and I am awake and I find myself bothered by several aspects of that movie, that story, ...ultimately, that person upon which it was all based, Christopher McCandless. And I mean no disrespect to the family. I realize this must have been a huge loss for them. But, still, I think this story serves well as a precautionary tale, one that others have undoubtedly already stated in the past but I think would be pertinent, if only for my own edification, to work through.

I guess the heaviest aspect of that movie was the suffering, both of Christopher himself near the end of his ordeal and of his family whom was completely unaware of his whereabouts until after the fact. The part that hits me the most is the aspect of self-infliction. From what little I've skimmed on the issue, it seems that McCandless' ultimate demise can be traced to the inadequacy of his supplies and equipment. The last person to have seen him alive was the person driving him from Fairbanks to the trail where McCandless began his stay in the Alaskan bush. Apparently, that person had tried to convince McCandless to reconsider his trip due to a perceived inadequacy of his supplies and equipment, to no avail.

If this is true, I'd hazard to say that a major determining factor of his demise may have been sheer arrogance. And I say this not completely as an outsider to that facet of humanity. It is something of which I have been sensitive ever since my childhood. Whether it's because of misguided actions on my part or that of someone close to me, arrogance seems to be a larger contributor to the hurt that goes around my block (not just me, I don't mean this in a self-pitying way). There's definitely something to be said about having good knowledge, especially when entering into foreign and novel situations. I guess, ultimately, I see the potential of an uninhibited version of myself doing something this audacious and paying the consequences for it and then forcing that payment out of those close to me. And, really, it just scares me that that potential is always there and that that part of me can rear its ugly head at any time after a mere momentary lapse in attention.

There's a photo of McCandless that appears at the end of the film (it's the first thing that comes up if you Google his name), a self-portrait taken sometime during his Alaskan stay. Something about that picture just creeps me out to no end, maybe something about seeing the dead, maybe something about knowing what he'll have to go through between that photo and his unfortunate end. Rest in peace, Christopher McCandless.